I’m back to the Civilian life world… 1 week of break away from camp. In fact it’s around 9 nine days including weekends… Many thoughts went through my mine for the past 1 week. It made me felt a little intimidated about stepping out to the outside world after this 2 yrs of NS liabilities. It’s not easy…
After this one year in army, i felt that i’ve lost out so much in terms of knowledge and skills relating to my future education and career route. NS have taken away my freedom and knowledge. I tried to keep myself in touch with area of interest by taking up financial planning courses (AFP-M1) and also updating myself with the current affairs & Business news from the papers. But the fire in my heart is no longer burning strong and the passion is not there anymore 
I can’t cope well with the outside world now, seriously… Current situation: Tue – Fri in camp, Sat help out NDP at marina bay, left with Sun and Mon(Off in Liew) My weekends will incorporate my gym workout and cardio routines, that’s because there is practically no physical training accept doing running and HIIT on my own time in the evening during this NDP preparation period. Therefore, i need to work hard during my weekends to achieve my fitness goal for the year. During the weekdays in camp, we are practically fully occupied with fun-packing stuff for the rehearsals for every saturday. Out camp, in camp fun-packing and delivery. Having to cope with NS and part time studies as well as achieving personal fitness goal at the same time is really not easy I failed to juggle them all this time round. I thought i could make it but… Not this time round…
As a result, i’m really de-moralized…
Because of this, i really have NO TIME and NO MOTIVATION to study for this exam. I have paid for the FPAS member and exam fees
I tried very hard to catch up with my course studies, i’m so stressed when i booked out of camp every weekend… I struggled and finally broke down and gave up half way at the end of June.
I am finding my way back… I’m searching for my burning desire… I’m looking for my passion…
I hope i can make it for the exam again in Nov… I need the Cert and knowledge to re-gain my passion and desire… I don’t wanna give up so easily…
1 Comment
July 28, 2009 at 6:09 pm
Stumbled across your site bro.
Hope you are doing okay. Army does that to you, trust me. Not only does it takes away your freedom and knowledge, it takes away your fucking brains because you can’t even think straight. I just went back for ICT last week, and one week back with the army is enough to make me an idiot.
But I believe you will pull thru, you just need sometime to strike a balance between all the things you are handling. You can always try to speak to your commanders and see if there’s a way to work out extra time off for your studies etc. There’s always a way so don’t trap yourself yup.
As to why I believe you will be fine, because I have been through the same bit of shit before I went poly. True, that in the first sem in year 1, I felt like a dumbass, but things eventually worked out fine for me. I’m sure the same will happen to you too. So don’t give up and give in to depression bro. NS is depressing enough alr, don’t add to it!
Zhe Ying